You may have noticed I’ve been a bit quiet on the blogging front lately. This is partly because I’ve been pretty busy. Not with anything in particular – just life in general. When I have had a bit of spare time to spend on my Facebook page or blogging however, I have come to a realisation. I procrastinate, and I waste A LOT of time.
Once I get on a roll, things are great. It’s not that I have writer’s block. Far from it. I have so many ideas on different blog topics, sometimes it becomes overwhelming. I don’t know where to start. And so, I procrastinate. Most of us are guilty of procrastinating, or whatever you choose to call it: diddle dallying, stalling, or as Michael would call what I do “piss farting around”.
In combination with my procrastinating I have come to the conclusion that there is also a degree of self-sabotage. The first thing I do when I sit down at my computer is go to the Facebook or WordPress feed. I sit there literally for HOURS scrawling through the newsfeeds. I am inspired, humoured and interested in other peoples’ stories and posts. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this.
The problem is I compare. I analyse. I OVER analyse. I over think EVERYTHING. How many likes has that post got? How may followers does this site or that blogger have? Why did they get so many comments or shares when a post I wrote on a similar topic only got a few? What blog topic should I write about next? What would generate the most interest for my readers?
Why am I doing this when I could … make that should … be focusing on my own creativity and ideas? Over analysing and unnecessarily scrutinizing everything have always been in my nature. This blog post makes that pretty evident! I’m sure some of you are thinking I am a complete neurotic at this point! Sometimes I even drive myself crazy!
When I decided to start my Stoma-licious blog, to be honest I did not realise how many other IBD and ostomy bloggers and activists there are out there. At first I was worried I had missed the boat. However since starting this blog, several people have said to me “wow, I knew you were sick, but I didn’t realise how awful IBD can be”. Or, “I’ve shared your page and several of my friends have contacted me now opening up and saying they have IBD and would be interested in speaking to you about it”.
I am not doing this as a business. This is not a competition. I blog because I have a story I want to share, and I hope that sharing my story will help and inspire others. It doesn’t matter how many others. Whether I have 1, 100 or 1000 followers. Whoever and how big or small my audience may be, it doesn’t matter. Even if I have only helped one person, made one person laugh, one person feel better, given one person hope, made a difference to one person’s life. That means the world to me. That’s what it’s all about.
I also blog because I enjoy it! I love writing! I have always been a writer. Through writing, I can express myself … what I am feeling and thinking. It is therapeutic. So even if I am the only one I am helping (which may likely be the case with this specific post!), then that’s something too isn’t it? There is nothing wrong with helping yourself.
I know I am not the only one who reads my posts, but I know I haven’t gone viral either, and that’s perfectly ok! So enough with the procrastinating! This is a promise to myself to stop comparing and worrying about what others are doing or their audience response. To stop wasting so much time and energy. To spend my time far more productively and just WRITE. Write for myself, and for you!!!
And to all my fellow IBD and Ostomy activists out there – this is a shout out to you too! Thank you! I am happy and proud that these topics are becoming more public and there are so many likeminded people, all playing a role in reducing stigmas and increasing understanding around IBD and ostomies. We are so much more open and there is so much more support now than there was a few years ago.
I admire all of you. We all have a story to tell, and everyone’s story is different and important. I will continue to read your stories, as I hope you will read mine. Together, sharing our stories, we become a united front. We help raise awareness and help others (between us, probably thousands if not millions). I am honoured to be with you, standing amongst you, working with you, contributing, making a difference … together. That’s what matters!
So happy blogging and happy reading!