The 7-year itch

No I’m not talking about that itchy feeling you might get underneath your bag when you know you’re about to have a leak, or signalling it must be time for a bag change! I am talking about my 7-year stomaversary!

In September this year I celebrated seven years with my ostomy!!! I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed!

I wasn’t in the mood for taking a new photo with my bag out on the day, but I figured I had to mark the occasion with something, so instead I posted this quote.

Having made it to the 7-year mark with my stoma, it reminded me of the “seven-year itch”. The belief that 7 years into a relationship is a critical juncture when you experience turbulence and a potential point-of-reckoning!!! That happiness in a marriage or long-term relationship can decline after around seven years together.

I’ve written about the parallels between human relationships and relationships with our stomas before! The dating phase, courtship, engagement, the big day, the honeymoon and then every day married life until death do us part! Who can relate? How about the seven-year itch phenomenon? 

Of course, ups and downs are par for the course in any long-term relationship, including our relationship with our stomas. I’m not sure why it’s the seven-year mark specifically it’s thought relationships tend to fall into this slump. Maybe it’s just a rough patch, maybe something more.

Whatever the case, I’ve read up on some ways in which couples can try to beat that itch, and some of them could even be used if you’re feeling this way about your stoma (whether at the 7-year mark or any other point). Some of them clearly won’t work (like rekindling the romance or taking up one of your partner’s interests – hehe!) but some could!

For example:

1. Communicate and compromise (well not so much communicate – although I do talk to my stoma sometimes), but there might be some compromises we can make with ourselves that could help?
2. Look at the little things – okay so you had a leak and having a stoma can be a pretty major thing, but look at all the things having your stoma has improved, even if it’s only something small. And celebrate the little victories.
3. Remind yourself why you’re grateful for your partner – or in this case your stoma. This is a BIG one!
4. Let go of the need to have a ‘perfect’ relationship. Another good one. Nobody’s relationship with their stoma is likely to be perfect. There will be leaks, there will be awkward noises when you least want them, there will be getting up in the middle of the night to empty your bag. But that’s all okay.
5. Talk to an expert – just like relationship counselling, talking to a psychologist, stoma nurse or even other ostomates can help if you’re having a rough patch or struggling to come to terms with your stoma.

I don’t know about you guys, but I am as in awe of my stoma 7 years on as I was the day of my surgery! Yes, we might have had a few rough patches and there are some days (although very rare) that you drive me mad! When it comes down to it I know I don’t actually have a choice in the matter, but I wouldn’t change a thing about my stoma or our relationship!

Obviously, the quote I chose to share for my stomaversary wasn’t about this person’s love for their stoma, but it somehow seems so appropriate for my stoma and I  🙂 

We keep it real (that’s for sure!), there are highs and lows, I know not all are as lucky as us, nevertheless you can sometimes be a fuss!! You have allowed me to grow and glow and we’re together forever, not to part! You allow me to be free. There will not be any seven-year itch for you and me!!!!

Thanks for the last 7 years “little guy” and Happy Stomaversary!!!

 

Here are a few of the other posts I’ve written celebrating my stomaversaries over the years: 

• On my 1st stomaversary I was half way through a 10 month round the world trip (this was before I started Stoma-licious)

  

• For my 2nd stomaversary: I asked friends and family to send my stoma an anniversary card message! We even got a big jar of jelly beans! 
• For my 3rd stomaversary: I wrote about my relationship with my stoma and how it mirrored a human relationship 
• For my 4th stomaversary: I took a minute to stop and smell the stomas!!
• For my 5th stomaversary: I wrote about why I saw having my ostomy as an advantage, rather than a disadvantage
• For my 6th stomaversary: I listed six of my top stoma life highlights (so far!)
• And now here we are 7 years on!

What are some ways you have celebrated (or intend to celebrate) your stomaversaries over the years? Please share in the comments!