When a member of your family has a chronic illness, be they in remission or otherwise, that fact tends to colour all other life events. So it is, with great joy and gratitude, I celebrate my daughter Laura (aka Stomalicious) and son-in-law Mikey’s, 20th anniversary of being together as a couple.
Last week I celebrated my 4-year anniversary (or stomaversary) with “my little guy”! Today I’m celebrating another anniversary. An even more significant one in many ways than my stomaversay, because it’s my 20th (yes, you read that right!) anniversary with my big guy – my husband, Mikey!
This post was originally written for Eakin’s A Bigger Life
Seriously? I don’t think I would have gotten through my surgery without mine! Stomal therapy nurses play a pivotal role in our lives pre and post-surgery. Most of us lucky enough to have a stoma nurse (and it amazes me that anyone is allowed to go through ostomy surgery without one) know they are amazing human beings. Ostomates have a special kind of relationship with their stoma nurse, and I might be a bit biased, but of course I think my stoma nurse Kerrin is the best!!
Stomaversary, Bagaversary, No Colonaversary, whatever you like to call it, today marks 3 years with my stoma!
Technically my first ostomy was formed 3 years AND 5 months ago. It started as a loop ileostomy, so I consider the first 5 months: “the dating phase”! The real deal happened on 24 September 2013. That’s when I got my new stoma (and got rid of some other bits!) and we became committed (for life). This got me to thinking about the parallels between our relationships with our stomas and human relationships. There are many similarities, but also some polar opposites.
Like all relationships, our relationships with our stomas are individual and each very different. Some will be better (or at least ‘different’) than others. This is my experience. This is about MY relationship with MY stoma and the path we have taken as I reflect on my 3rd Stomaversary.
I have never been an overly clucky person. I didn’t grow up dreaming of being a mum, but I never ruled it out of my life plan either. Now I am in my mid 30s … pushing 40. Is it too late? Now that I have Crohn’s disease and an ostomy, is it even an option?
Yesterday was Mother’s Day in Australia. I am not a mother, but I am blessed to have lots of mothers in my life, including my beautiful, amazing mum Vivienne. I might be biased, but she is THE best mum in the whole entire world! I spent the day yesterday with my beautiful mum, and my equally beautiful sister Emma, and mother in law June. We all had a lovely day together doing mum’s day type stuff!!
The definition of “mother” is someone who creates, nurtures and protects. You don’t have to have given birth or be a biological mother to fit this definition. There are so many amazing women and mother figures out there including aunties, step-mums, godmothers, foster mums, mums of fur babies, teachers and friends. Happy mother’s day to all of you too!
I wanted to use this opportunity to finally write a blog post for my mum. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, but to be honest was a bit overwhelmed as there are so many things I want to say about her and to her, and I want to make sure I do this justice!
So this one is for you mum! Read More »
What a big weekend this has been! I had the pleasure and honour of watching one of my dearest friends get married to a wonderful guy, in a gorgeous ceremony, followed by a spectacularly fun wedding reception. It was made even more special for me being able to stand by as her bridesmaid 🙂 Despite the rain almost forcing Plan B into action, it was a perfect day and evening, and we even got driven to the ceremony in a firetruck!
I am absolutely buggered now, yet can’t help but still be on a high with a heart filled with joy after such a special weekend. This post is likely to be a bit soppy (from me, a girl who most certainly never dreamt about my own wedding, nor actually thought I would ever even get married)! Read More »
No, I’m not talking about my ostomy surgery. As I’ve discussed in previous posts, one of the biggest issues I’ve had post my ileostomy surgery are gynaecological problems which have impacted my periods and sex life. Read More »
I’m back at hospital for the third time this week. Back in those familiar surroundings of a hospital with that calm, busy buzz of goings on around me. Only this time, for once, I’m NOT the patient. This time, I am the carer … I am here for support. Read More »
Next week I am off for a follow up appointment with my gynaecologist. I have to admit; I am quite apprehensive (more on that later). However, I thought it was a good opportunity to write my first blog post about SEX!
Before Crohn’s disease, I would say that I had a pretty “normal” and “regular” sex life. Now everyone’s idea of normal is different. For Michael and I, having been together for around 12 years at the time I was diagnosed, let’s just say we weren’t exactly going at it like rabbits every 2 minutes like we were at the beginning of our relationship! Once or twice a week on average seemed to be relatively healthy, and was our “normal”.
Roll on IBD, and that idea of “normal” quickly changed. As anyone with IBD knows and understands, dating and sex can be difficult, on a number of levels, and for many reasons. A lot of the time you simply feel too unwell. The symptoms of IBD take over and limit your sex drive and desires. You have stomach and other aches and pains, diarrhoea, nausea, or are just plain too tired. Read More »